We really don’t deserve dogs. They love us unconditionally in a way that’s humanly impossible. Their love is amazingly constant. They are always happy to see us. To them, we are everything. I guess that’s why they don’t understand when their overwhelming love isn’t always returned right when they want it to be. You know how dogs will tilt their heads, raise their eyebrows, and look at you with those big old puppy dog eyes; you swear they are trying to tell you something. They just don’t understand how we act sometimes. If your talk could suddenly talk, he certainly would have plenty to say! He’s definitely been puzzled about some things and would absolutely have a list of things to ask you! Here’s 20 questions your dog needs you to answer right away.
1. Are you going to eat all of that?
No matter what you’re eating, they want some. Some dogs are better trained than others. There are those who will practically climb in your lap while you’re eating and there are those that sit silently and just stare. They watch your every single move, from the plate to your mouth and everywhere in between. Although it can be hilarious, it can also be annoying, but just think about how your dog is feeling. Here you are, sitting there right in from of them, eating something so delicious, and you won’t even share a bite! He’d gladly share his dog food with you if you wanted some! Why do you get all the good food? It’s not fair!
2. First of all, don’t you know I’m the good boy by now???
”You keep asking me this question as if you don’t believe me! Or maybe you’re just not understanding me! Is that why you wouldn’t give me any pizza earlier? I’m the good boy. I’m the best boy! I didn’t even cry this morning when you left for ”work” – whatever that is! Work better not be another dog!! OMG! Do you have another house with another dog in it??? Is that where you go everyday? To see another dog??? Oh, wait, I think I would smelled another dog…”
3. Can I sleep with you?
”That little bed you bought is too small for you or I’d share my bed. I just want to be with you all the time, even when you’re sleeping. Plus, you’re bed is so much better! You have all those soft blankets and fluffy pillows. Also, I heard you yell out last night. Don’t you want me close to you in case you need me? I need you! Please let me sleep with you, especially when it storms; I get scared!”
4. What are you cooking?
”Can I have some? It smells delicious!” If you’ve ever walked in someone else’s house when they were in the middle of cooking, you can imagine what this must feel day in and day out. You know how the food smells so tantalizing, making your stomach growl and your mouth water. You want to ask if you can stay for dinner, but you were taught not to ask people for food. (Sounds familiar!) But it just smells so dang good…now you know how your dog feels every single time you cook!
5. Where did the ball go?
”Are you a magician? You didn’t throw the ball, but you don’t have it anymore, either???” Oh, the look on dogs’ faces when they don’t know where the ball is! Seriously, they have no idea where it is, but they suspect that you are tricking them. Can you imagine how hurt they’d be if they realized that not only are you tricking them, but you’re laughing about it, too? Yep, it is kind of messed up, isn’t it?
6. Can we have bacon for breakfast?
”More importantly can I have bacon for breakfast? Bacon, bacon, bacon! Bacon is soooo good! I want some bacon!” Bacon is so good! Just the smell of it makes my mouth water. If I come to your house and you’re cooking bacon, I won’t have no other choice than to ask for some! I’ll try to fight it, but when it comes to bacon, I’m weak! Well, you’re dog probably feels the same because bacon is awesome! At least get him some bacon treats!
7. What kind of dog is that with the attitude?
”Why are those little, funny-looking dogs with the extra long tails and sharp toenails always in such bad moods? Why do they think they’re the boss? Why did you bring one home??? You know, it scratched my nose and all I was doing was trying to get a whiff of him! I was just trying to say hello, but he wasn’t having it. He scratched me, ran away, and then climbed on top of that tall shelf and knocked something over!! It broke and you didn’t put him in the cage. OMG! Do you love him more than me???”
8. Why do you leave me all alone everyday?
”I just want to be where you are, don’t you understand that? Why can’t I go with you?” Dogs seem to not have any time perception, because if you leave for work, get to the car and realize you’ve forgotten something, then go back in to get it, your dog acts the exact same way as he would if you’d actually been gone all day long. They’re always glad to see you, unlike cats who are more, ”Oh, it’s you again.” Dogs are more like, ”OMG, you came back, you came back!! I didn’t think you were coming back this time; you were gone for soooo long!” Even if the last thing you did before going out the door was to yell at them, dogs are still happy to see you when you get back and all has been forgiven. Wouldn’t it be nice if people would just act the same way? Well, it may be a bit weird if a person was that excited to see you, but the all-is-forgiven thing would be great!
9. What happened to your tail?
”Where is it? Is it in the same place the ball goes? Was there an accident? Or were you born without one? How can other humans tell if you’re happy or not if you can’t wag your tail??” Now, that would be a funny sight! Can’t you just imagine if humans wagged their tails (butts) if they were happy to see you? On the other hand, it would definitely make it much easier to know if someone likes you or not. Of course, if we’d always greeted each other that way, it wouldn’t be weird, but it would be hilarious if that just became a new fad or thing-to-do. ”Bae” would know if you were growing tired of them, however.
10. How many socks do you have?
”Why can’t you just share one sock with me? You have so many! You know I love your socks! And no, I don’t want a clean one, either. I’ll take the dirtiest one you can find!” Maybe that’s where all the socks disappear to? Why do they always prefer the dirty ones over the clean ones? I mean, they’ll take a clean one, but if given the choice, they’ll choose the dirty one almost every single time! It’s so easy to make your dog happy! Just give them a dirty old holey sock and their in heaven! Nonetheless, people are not that easy to please. Not that I would be happy if my SO gave me a dirty sock, but I am happy when he brings me a cool rock. It would be so nice if everyone was so easy please!
11. Why do I have this plastic cage around my head?
”Is this some kind of torture device or punishment? I’m sorry I got in the trash, but those paper towels that you drained the bacon on smelled so good, I just couldn’t help myself! And then there was that bone from your pork chop the other night and the fat you trimmed off your ham the day before that and I think there was a bit of sausage one day and…” Well, you get the picture. Dogs don’t understand why they have to wear a plastic cone around their head; they don’t understand it’s for their own good. All they know is they want it OFF!
12. Can we go for a walk?
”Please, oh, please, oh please, let’s go to the park! Or just around the block or in the back yard. Let’s go outside and play! I love outside! I love going for a walk! I get to see all my friends, especially when we go to that one place where all the dogs play together. Oh, remember that time we went to the big bathtub and all the dogs were swimming in it? Can we go there again?” Dogs don’t understand that we’re often tired after working all day. After all, they’ve most likely been sleeping most of the day. Your dog still needs regular exercise, however, even if it’s just a walk around the block or a couple of rounds of catch. He’ll even thank you for it with big, sloppy kisses!
13. Why do we have to go to the ”vet”?
”I don’t understand why you take me there if you love me! I don’t like going there. That’s where they put that plastic cage on my head! I don’t ever want to go back there! Last time you took me, I just felt like I was leaving without something!” Yes, for the most part, dogs don’t like going to the vet, but they don’t understand how it’s for their benefit. They have no way of knowing that you take them to the vet because you love, not because you don’t. At least they don’t have to go very often.
14. Can we go back to the place with all the toys?
“They have those big bones, too! Can I get one this time? I’ve been such a good boy!” Have you ever took your dog to a pet store and let them pick out a toy or two? For just a few bucks, you can make your dog the happiest dog ever! Pet stores know have an array of healthy snacks for your dog, too. Wouldn’t it be nice if you only had to spend ten dollars on your SO to make their day or even week? Dogs simply take so little to make happy and they are happy with whatever you give them. They don’t even care if it’s the same exact thing you got them for their birthday!
15. Where does the grass go?
“Can we go out a different door? I want to go outside and not in that cold, white stuff that makes my feet hurt! Where is the grass? Did someone steal it?” Dogs certainly don’t understand the seasons or the changing temperatures. They just want to go outside. Of course, it’s wonderful to watch them the first time they see snow, but let’s face it, nobody wants to stay out in it for very long. The worst thing? They don’t get to have hot chocolate when they come back in!
16. Can you make that loud sound stop?
“What is that? It’s so scary!” Of course, some dogs aren’t afraid of thunder at all, but some are. If your dog doesn’t like thunder, be sure to comfort them when it’s storming. If you’re not going to be home, leave a recent shirt you’ve worn in a ”safe place” along with a few of their favorite toys and maybe even a special snack. I don’t know about you, but I can’t stand the thought of my pet cowering and whimpering in fear when I’m not home. Some people even leave the TV on for their dogs so they don’t feel so alone. Whatever you decide to do, just be sure to do something if you know your dog is afraid of the thunder and it’s supposed to storm when you’re going to be gone.
17. What did you bring me?
”Ooh, is that peanut butter for me? Is that chicken for me? OMG, is that bacon for me??” Every time I get back from the grocery store, my dog always wants to know what I brought home. Luckily for him, I always bring him a little something at least. That way, when he follows me into the kitchen, jumping up and down because I’m back, I can reward him with a little something to show him how much I love him! Even if it’s a dollar toy, he’s happy with whatever I give him. Granted, he’d rather have bacon, but wouldn’t we all?
18. Where is that dog’s legs???
“OMG! What kind of dog is that??? Where is his fur? Where is his legs? He’s so funny looking, but still kind of scary, too!” Have you ever seen a dog react to a pet snake? It really seems like they are trying to figure out just what exactly it is. I don’t think they’re very thrilled about them, either. If you have other pets besides your dog, you should introduce them. They are all part of your family, after all, and you don’t want your doggy to be jealous, either. Remember, some breeds of dogs are extremely jealous, so be sure to check before bringing one home if you have a baby or expect to have one anytime soon.
19. Could you live without me?
“Admit it, I am a good boy, the best boy, and you wouldn’t want to live without me the same way I don’t want to live without you!” Let’s face it, dogs enrich our lives in a way other humans just can’t live up to. As I said in the beginning, sometimes we really don’t deserve such unwavering devotion, but they give to use anyway. Be sure to give your good boy or girl a big hug and kiss when you get home and thank them for being such a good boy/girl!
20. Do you love me?
”I love you! Oh, I love you so much! Do you love me, too?” You can literally see the love in their eyes at times and admit it, there’s nothing quite like the welcoming excitement you get from your dog when you get home from work. The rest of the family seems like they could care less if you’re home or not it seems, but your dog, he’s always happy to see you. Take a moment to appreciate their unparalleled love and devotion. Buy them a treat. Take them to the park. Let them have a piece of bacon! What would we do without our dogs? Life would not be as enjoyable, that’s for sure! They’re always there when you need them. Return the favor!