13 Hilarious Bulldog Struggles Every Owner Knows All Too Well

So, you finally brought home a bulldog. That squishy face, that charming waddle, those soulful eyes—what’s not to love?

They’re adorable, goofy, and built like cuddly tanks. But here’s the thing nobody really prepares you for: bulldogs come with baggage.

And by baggage, we mean snoring that rivals jet engines, farts that could clear a room, and an attitude that screams “I do what I want.”

Don’t get us wrong—we love them to bits. But life with a bulldog is like living with a stubborn toddler in a dog’s body. A toddler who thinks every couch is theirs, every walk is negotiable, and personal space is a myth.

They’re clingy yet aloof, lazy yet oddly dramatic, and will test your patience while melting your heart—all in the same five minutes.

Bulldogs are a breed like no other. They’re not out here chasing squirrels or fetching tennis balls for hours. Nope. They’re more likely to stare at you blankly, plop down in protest halfway through a walk, or demand cuddles while drooling all over your clean clothes.

And if you think you’re in charge? That’s cute.

This article is for the proud, sleep-deprived, wrinkle-wiping bulldog owners who’ve traded peace and quiet for snorts, slobber, and stubborn love.

If you’ve ever found yourself carrying a 50-pound lump of muscle because they refused to walk, or apologizing to guests for a particularly lethal fart—this one’s for you.

Let’s dive into the wonderfully chaotic world of bulldog ownership. These are the 13 bulldog problems every owner knows too well—and secretly wouldn’t trade for anything.

1. The Snoring Symphony

Bulldogs don’t just snore—they rumble, honk, and snort their way through the night like a cartoon steam engine. It starts off kind of charming, especially when they’re curled up in a squishy snuggle ball on the couch.

But come 2 a.m., you’ll swear your walls are shaking. No position seems to help, and nudging them only pauses the chaos for a minute or two. Your dreams? Frequently interrupted by your dog’s dramatic nighttime performances.

2. Overheating Drama Queens

One minute into a summer stroll and your bulldog’s already panting like they just finished a marathon. Their compact faces and thick bodies make heat a real danger, not just an inconvenience.

They’ll plop dramatically in the shade while you frantically fan them with your hands. You’ll soon become a weather app junkie, always checking for that perfect 65°F window to squeeze in a walk. Bulldog life comes with built-in climate control needs.

3. Wrinkle Wipeout

All those adorable face folds? They’re basically bacteria playgrounds. If you’re not diligent, you’ll notice red, irritated skin and a smell that makes you second-guess your life choices.

Daily wrinkle wiping becomes as routine as feeding them. Cotton pads, vet-approved wipes, and the occasional bribe are your weapons of choice. It’s not glamorous—but it’s non-negotiable unless you want your bulldog to smell like a forgotten lunchbox.

4. Selective Hearing (When Treats Aren’t Involved)

You’ll call their name, whistle, maybe even sing—only to be met with a bulldog who’s suddenly gone deaf. But crinkle a bag of snacks from across the house and they’ll appear like a food-seeking missile.

It’s not that they can’t hear you. It’s that they choose not to. Training a bulldog means turning every task into a tasty transaction. Without treats, you might as well be speaking ancient Greek.

5. The Reluctant Walker

Bulldogs have a complicated relationship with walks. They like the idea of them—until you actually try to go. What starts as a confident strut often ends with them plopping down on the sidewalk like they’re staging a protest.

No amount of leash tugging or pep talk works when they’ve decided “nope.” Carrying them back home becomes part of the routine. You’ll eventually learn to cherish the walks they do complete without drama.

6. Gas Attacks

You think you’re safe, lounging on the couch, until you hear that faint “pffft”—and then it hits. Bulldog farts are potent, lingering, and often timed for maximum embarrassment (like when guests are over).

Their sensitive stomachs and flat faces contribute to the constant tooting. Special diets can help… a little. But in the end, bulldog gas is something you accept, like bad weather or taxes. You just crack a window and carry on.

7. Drool Central

That wide, lovable mouth is also a slobber factory. Bulldogs drool when they eat, when they drink, when they’re excited—or just because. And it’s not a cute dribble. It’s a full-on waterfall.

You’ll find drool on the furniture, your pants, the floor, and once… the ceiling. Shake their head at the wrong time and you’ll need a change of clothes. Owning a bulldog means always having a towel within arm’s reach.

8. Clingy to the Core

Bulldogs aren’t just loyal—they’re Velcro with legs. Go to the kitchen? They’re right behind you. Head to the bathroom? There’s a snorting face wedged under the door.

Alone time is a myth when you have a bulldog. They want to be near you at all times, even if “near” means sitting on top of your foot while you try to cook. Their constant presence is both heartwarming and hilariously inconvenient.

9. Stubbornness That Could Win Awards

Training a bulldog isn’t about intelligence—it’s about negotiation. They understand you just fine. They’re just weighing whether they feel like listening. Spoiler: they usually don’t.

If you want results, you’ll need creativity and a stockpile of treats. Even then, success is inconsistent. Bulldogs have a mind of their own and aren’t afraid to show it. They’ll pretend not to hear you while keeping perfect eye contact. It’s their superpower.

10. Stranger Danger Bark-Fest

Bulldogs are usually calm, but when they sense something “off,” they can erupt with a grumbly bark that sounds like a chainsaw trying to start. The trigger? A doorbell, a falling leaf, or sometimes nothing at all.

They’ll puff up and act tough, even though they’re mostly marshmallow inside. It’s both adorable and absurd watching them try to protect the house from the mailman—or a rogue Amazon box.

11. Funky Bulldog Smell

Even the cleanest bulldog comes with a certain “earthy” aroma. It’s not gross, per se—but it’s… distinct. That combo of skin folds, drool, and mysterious foot stink never quite goes away.

You’ll bathe them, spray doggy perfume, and scrub every fold, but the funk always returns. Friends will say, “your house smells like a dog,” and you’ll just nod. That’s bulldog life—cozy, snuggly, and slightly musty.

12. No Sense of Personal Space

Bulldogs don’t understand boundaries. Sit on the couch and they’re immediately climbing on you like a furry boulder. Your face? Perfect place to rest their chin. Your laptop? Great spot to sit while you’re working.

They genuinely believe they’re lap dogs, regardless of weight. It’s sweet and suffocating at the same time. You’ll never be lonely—but you’ll also never be able to stretch your legs without asking permission first.

13. Vet Visits Are a Workout

Bulldogs hate going to the vet with a passion that turns them into floppy, unmovable bricks. Getting them into the car is a test of strength, patience, and upper body power.

Once there, they’ll resist the exam like you’re feeding them to wolves. Between lifting them, holding them still, and comforting their snorts of betrayal, you’ll leave more exhausted than they are. Vet day? More like arm day.